If Rihanna’s Vogue cover make the singer look like a beautiful merperson, Rihanna’s Vogue photos taken all together make her look like Ariel’s bad-ass older sister. Arista, maybe? Possibly Attina? That fish woman does not mess around. Shot by Annie Leibovitz, Rihanna alternates between frolicking on the beach and glowering at the camera. We don’t know if you can smoke or drink if you live underwater and have the internal organs of a fish, but if so, Rihanna would be doing it. Either way, you can tell she’d sooner slap a sea witch across the face than give up her voice for a dude.
As the cover girl for Vogue‘s Shape issue, Rihanna discusses her workout routine in the April issue. “I hate going to the gym and doing it the old-fashioned way,” the singer admits. Well, ellipticals aren’t built for aquatic animals; it’s an issue of skeletal structure. Oh, you know what…we’re going put down this issue for a little bit and walk away. We’ve been looking thinking about this analogy for way too long.