American Idol‘s strong start is slowly withering and dying into a fairly boring season. Last night was no exception. The contestants had to sing songs from their birth year, which we think is an attempt to make everyone over the age of 25 feel old as sh*t. My former favorite, Naima Adedapo, has been busy flushing her chances down those once clean toilets; Paul McDonald continues to have a deadly neurologically disorder; Karen Rodriguez is still soooo Spanish you guyzzah; and Jacob Lusk — who we assumed had this competition locked up — has turned into a comically terrible performer. (And yes, I did take it personally last night when he butchered Heart’s “Alone.” I never thought I’d actually long for the days of Carrie
Underwood. Zulkey at AV Club put it best: “His Lusky stank was stanky as hell tonight.”)
But out of all the blah and meh and oh no performances last night, one of them really stood out. Casey Abrams. Sang. Nirvana. “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Meaning that when I was 10 years old, Casey Abrams’ little red afro was springing forth from betwixt his mother’s loins. The performance was horrendoussssssssssssssssss.
But worse than how Casey sounded (which was bad) were the faces he made throughout. I accidentally paused my TV during his song and the image I caught was on the same level as “life scarring” as all of Killer Clowns From Outer Space. And so we made his faces into a list.
Here are the 30 Most Terrifying Stills of Casey Abrams aka HAPPY ST, PADDY’S DAY!