World’s Fattest Woman Also Wears World’s Most Crooked Glasses

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Meet my new hero Donna Simpson. She’s just your average 600 pound lady in New Jersey who has made it her life goal to become the world’s fattest woman at 1,000 pounds. Believe it or not, it’s actually more difficult than it sounds… her favorite foods are chocolate and sushi (Ed. Note: FML, I also like these foods.) only Donna has to eat 70 pieces of sushi for dinner instead of the average person (which, for me, means like 25 pieces of sushi almost ok not really but close.)

The nice thing about Donna is that she’s completely comfortable in her skin. She even found herself a man! And they’re planning on getting married at the top of a Hawaiian mountain at 6 AM. In the words of Patrice in Coming to America “Why does she always get the good ones?”

The only — ooonnnlllyyy – criticism I can think to give Donna is that her glasses are crooked. If you want us to take you seriously as possibly the world’s fattest half ton woman, please roll your bed over to Lenscrafters and get yourself a pair of professional specs.

Honestly this seems like a great way to live. (Vid via Eliot Glazer)