Jeremy Piven Denies Filling Charlie Sheen’s Enchanted Warlock Shoes

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Hmm, now this we would have liked. Jeremy Piven is the first suggestion with the kind of devil-may-care, got-out-of-a-contract-via-mercury-poisoning attitude that we’d like to see slip into Charlie Sheen‘s tiger-blood-soaked shoes. No offense, Rob Lowe; maybe if this was 1988.  Unfortunately Jeremy Piven has denied he’ll replace Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men. “No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy,” Piven’s rep Stan Rosenfeld claims, which is really too bad. How many other actors will get into a verbal altercation with Chris Kattan in their lifetime? Roughly two, once Charlie thinks of it.

Unfortunately, the likelihood that Charlie will replace himself on the hit sitcom is also looking pretty slim, as today a judge denied Sheen’s bid to stop arbitration with Chuck Lorre and Warner Bros. The arbitration, separate from Sheen’s $100 lawsuit against Lorre and Warner Bros., will determine if all future lawsuits between Sheen and his ex-bosses will be held in private, or publicly in court. Do you think if Charlie plead mercury poisoning this whole mess could end soon too? Do you think Charlie Sheen might actually have mercury poisoning and that would actually explain everything?

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