Katie Holmes Chats About Suri’s Penis Gummies Episode, Can’t Actually Say It

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If Katie Holmes’ Ellen interview set to air on Friday suggests anything, it’s that The Kennedys actress worries that we think she’s a bad mom based on photos of Suri holding Penis Gummies. “I thought if I say ‘Put that back,’ then she’s going to say ‘What is it?” and I didn’t really want to have that conversation,” Katie admitted thinking when her daughter grabbing the phallic snack in front of photographers at Serendipity 3. “Then it was on the cover of a magazine that I’m giving her those gummies. And I’m like, no.” We actually thought it made you seem kind of cool, Katie, but don’t worry. We know you wouldn’t buy your daughter such inappropriate sweets. We just thought you were hanging out with a 4-year-old at a place that sold genital-shaped gummies in the middle of the night. It’s nothing we wouldn’t do if we had kids!

Holmes even spells out the word p-e-n-i-s during the interview, in case…what, Suri set her DVR to record her mom gab about her adorably humiliating moment to the whole world? We already know what the candy looked like, woman! There’s no need to shield us from the truth. “Oh wow, those aren’t Swedish fish,” Holmes recalls thinking in embarrassment. “Even I know that,” Ellen joked. See, we bet Ellen would let her toddler eat whatever bizarro treat was available at the midnight candy shop. You know, like a cool mom would do.