Donald Trump’s New Oil Slogan: “You’re Not Gonna Raise That F*CKIN’ PRICE!”

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Rising oil prices are a huge problem. There is no obvious and immediate solution though. It’s a complicated issue that involves not only simple supply and demand, but also speculation about what supply and demand will be in the future. Right? Nope. Not at all. Donald Trump says that what we really need to stabilize the petroleum market is to have one of those lame-os in Washington finally stand up and say out loud, “YOU’RE NOT GONNA RAISE THAT F*CKIN’ PRICE, YOU UNDERSTAND? ME!”

Not safe for work or big oil.

Sounds like a good plan! I’m pretty sure Donald Trump saying that is why the Coke machines at the VH1 offices on Hudson still cost only 50 cents. So it should totally work on oil. All anyone has to do is tell… well, he doesn’t specify who exactly you tell this to. Josh Opec maybe. That’s probably an important oil guy.

Josh Opec: I’m gonna raise that f*ckin’ price. What are your thoughts on that?

Donald Trump: You’re not gonna raise that f*ckin’ price, you understand me?!

Josh Opec: Oh. Wow. Yes! I do understand you.

So, that’s how that would probably go. Oh also, this speech took place at the Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas, so let’s all take this very seriously please.

There just aren’t enough positive tags you could attach to this post.