Rumor We Love: Angelina Jolie Forces Brad Pitt To Have A Lot Of Sex

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Don’t envy Brad Pitt, fathers of America. Where many of you have settled into a pleasant routine of little to no sex, this poor guy has to deal with a bisexual dominatrix who only wants more, more, more! Celebitchy found a doozy of an article in InTouch Weekly, detailing the erotic burdens Angelina Jolie has put on her husband. “Brad has made a real commitment to make sure that her needs are met,” says their source, noting that previous husbands weren’t comfortable with Angelina’s love for flirting with stewardesses and traveling with an all-female team of “servers.” “She doesn’t do anything like that when the kids are around,” the witness explains, “but it’s a different story when she’s alone, or with Brad.” The horror!

Brace yourself for more examples of Angelina’s “selfish” ways: “Angelina loves to tie Brad down to a chair or to the bed and blindfold him. That’s no secret…They have a grotto on their Los Feliz compound, and they go there all the time to have sex in the water…they’re not violent, but Angelina likes it rough.” If that wasn’t enough, Brad has to pick out her underwear at lingerie shops, and is forced to endure “24-hour sex vacations” once a month. Once a month! Many men would have run into the arms of another, less horny woman by now, so we must commend Brad for suffering the humiliations of Angelina’s sex grotto…we’re sure it’s all for the children.