No, Kelly Bensimon, That’s Not How You Make The Skinnygirl Cocktail

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Of all the Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Bensimon is the not the worst. Personally, I think Jill Zarin is the worst — a greedy, vindictive yenta-turned-fame-monster who is, simply, bad for the Jews (Michelle Collins‘s mom, Judy, is with me on that one).

Unlike Jill, Kelly Bensimon is not threatening. She is just a supremely weird lady who, against all odds, appears on a television show in which she is expected to think fully-realized thoughts and speak in coherent sentences (mostly in the form of heated insults predicated upon arguments about, like, who may have farted while drinking champagne at a fundraiser for paper cuts). And, if you’ve ever seen the show, you know that she is being paid for a service she cannot provide.

That peculiar ineptitude translates just as poorly onto her personal YouTube videos, a recent one which features KKB dousing her hair in lemon juice, salt, oil, and booze, and doing that thing where she pretends she’s making a joke to cover her tracks in case anyone takes her words seriously. “I’m doing this for you guys,” she claims. “We’re doing this together!”

Last we checked, the video had 111 views, so…it’s okay, Kelly. You don’t have to “do” “anything” for “us.” Go ahead and cash your checks, and congratulations on everything. Well-deserved.

[via Stoopid Housewives]

– Eliot Glazer

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