Can you feel how nervous we are talking with Parks And Recreation‘s Nick Offerman? You can’t tell through your computer screen, but he is radiating unadulterated testosterone and the piquant scent of cedar chips. Metaphorically speaking. We spoke to “The Nick,” as he refers to himself, mere minutes before he taped his appearance on VH1’s new morning show, Big Morning Buzz Live, yesterday morning. The upcoming finales of Parks And Recreation and The Office has Offerman imagining how Ron Swanson would manage the gang at Dundler-Mifflin, aside from the inevitable bloody cage match with Rainn Wilson‘s Dwight Schrute, of course. Who would the winner be? (Hint: It’s Phyllis. It’s always Phyllis).
And after the jump, you can experience our full, 5 minute and 28 second long interview with the hirsute Offerman, in which he shares his tips on woodworking a bamboo bong, using beard lard as an aphrodisiac and admiring Tom Haverford’s giant balls. They are beautiful balls, really: great music, excellent appetizers, everybody dressed to the nines. Just how Nick Offerman likes it.