Earlier today, I chided Arnold Schwarzenegger’s alleged mistress, Gigi Goyette, for dressing like she was the fifth member of Dream, the former pop outfit mentored by
P. Diddy Daddy Puff’o Doodyhead. When it comes to guilty pleasures, nothing is better than scarfing down a handful of Zebra Cakes turning on “He Loves U Not” and “This Is Me” (never die, Jamiroquai hats). I’m not sure what it is about those songs, but the two hits for the girl group are still so infectious that I’ll never, ever abandon them.
But, ugh, it broke my heart a little to discover a year-old YouTube video that shows the girls reuniting for — what else? — a reality show. Now called Lady Phoenix, the trio (hey, where’d the butch one go?) shopped around a reality show using a sizzle reel that they also posted on YouTube. It’s almost a year old, and we haven’t seen the show pop up on actual TV (did Tamar Braxton steal their thunder?), but it might be because the footage shows elements so clicheed at this point, it’s actually depressing: one member working at a tanning salon, another serving nachos, a music industry “big wig” wearing a tilted beret, staged catfights, a “surprise” pregnancy, emotional beachside chats, and — duh — driving a jeep in the desert.
Lady Phoenix isn’t even on iTunes, and their MySpace page vaguely smells like ointment (it’s old, get it?), but we’re calling for Diddy Dirty Money Honey to swoop in and make these girls relevant again. Please, Dirty Daddy, do it for the fans! (Or just meeeee!)
— Eliot Glazer