North Korea Names North Korea Second-Happiest Nation On Earth

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Nope, that’s not an Onion headline, it’s a headline headline: A North Korean “happiness” study found that North Korea was the second-happiest nation on earth, just behind China:

A Chinese media, Chaoxian.com.cn, reported on Thursday that North Korea’s Chosun Central TV recently released the survey result of a ‘Happiness Index (Gross National Happiness) of each nation,’ which was conducted in North Korea.

According to the index, the happiest country in the world is China and North Korea is ranked no. 2. Interestingly, South Korea is ranked No.152 and the U.S. ranks last at No. 203.

The top five rankings include Cuba (no. 3, 93 points), Iran (no.4, 88 points), and Venezuela (no.5, 85 points). South Korea, with 18 points, was placed at no.152 and the U.S. ranked no. 203 with its score not marked.

Onion Writer: Hey, how about we do a fake story where North Korea does a “Happiness Index” and they name themselves and China the happiest nations on earth and the U.S.A. the absolute least happy, even below like, Sudan?

Other Onion Writer: Eh, the whole “North Korea propaganda” thing is sort of played out, it’s not like they’re just super-constantly cramming that stuff down their own throats, plus that’s way too on the nose to have the U.S. dead last, it’s too exaggerated to even be funny.

Onion Writer: Yeah you’re right — it’s too North Korea-ey even for a fake article, let alone a real one. MAN WOULD THAT BE PREICTABLE AND STUPID IF IT REALLY HAPPENED SO STUPID IN FACT THAT I AM YELLING IT IN CAPS! Natural sentence there. Moving on…

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