Jennifer Lopez Blocks Sale Of Her Sex Tape

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In case it wasn’t clear to you, we would highly advise against messing with Jennifer Lopez. She might seems like she’s just a sweet woman with inhuman hair extensions and a wardrobe of 500 beige outfits, but one doesn’t become a millionaire and bride of the Skeleton King without some bite in those veneers. After a judge gave J.Lo’s ex Ojani Noa, permission to distribute the Jennifer Lopez sex tape through a porn site last week, another judge has granted the American Idol judge a temporary restraining order preventing us from seeing those “15-20 minutes of total nudity.” It’s probably not that Jennifer minds us seeing her naked; it’s just that she’s wearing these hideous worn-out Sketchers instead of her Louis Vuitton, and she finds that just humiliating.

Reportedly Lopez headed back to court, this time successfully, after finding out Noa was planning to sell the video to his girlfriend/producing partner Claudia Vasquez for $1 as part of a broader distribution scheme. If you though Jennifer was going to stand by while a nude video of her butt was purchased for less than it costs to ride the bus, you were tragically mistaken. Vasquez lawyer Cris Armenta confirms that his client “cannot release any portion of the home videos and does not have the right to use the footage at this time.” Knowing J.Lo, she’ll probably drop $5 million on the classiest, most elegant porno known to man and release it for free, just to her ex and lady friend how it’s really done. Projecting onto the side of their house for the rest of their lives will only be the cherry on the vengeance sundae.

[Photo: Splash News Online]