Um. Where do we even begin. To say Robert Pattinson was on fire tonight would be the understatement of
the century ALL TIME. Our favorite hot weirdo appeared to be “chocolate wasted” on:
1) The entire Heineken warehouse.
2) The excitement of seeing his girlfriend for the first time in minutes/days/weeks (we aren’t sure).
3) The toxic fumes Tom Sturridge‘s beard is emitting from across the Atlantic.
4) All of the above.
Rob is always in rare form at awards shows; he prances, he laughs too loudly at his own jokes, he mumbles, he goofs it up to the tenth degree. But tonight was like a Best of Robert Pattinson Antics. Shall we?
Exhibit A: When accepting the Best Fight award, he told co-star Bryce Dallas Howard, “I ripped your head off and then you got pregnant.”
Exhibit B: He planted kisses all over Taylor Lautner‘s sweet hamburger-loving face and then mauled (in the sexiest way possible) Kristen Stewart, announcing in his best “bewbbbbs” voice: “I wanna take you backstage.”
Exhibit C: THE F BOMB. Guys, if ever there was a pinnacle in which Rob’s true colors exploded in front of us in all their glory, this was it. While roasting Reese Witherspoon (hilariously, adorably and awkwardly) he rattled off a bunch of inside jokes, including references to her preference for tequila. He then talked about how he played her son in Vanity Fair in a scene that was later cut and concluded with, “I didn’t cut you out [from their film Water for Elephants] but I did fuck you.” Reese one-upped him, of course, by giving him the punchline to his joke and calling him “the best motherf**ker in Hollywood.”
For the record, we have spent way too much time observing the wild species that is RPattz and we actually don’t think he was drunk tonight. Okay maybe he had a couple, but really we think this is just Rob bein’ Rob at its finest. We can only the imagine the hangover one gets from that. Below are Rob’s finest moments from tonight’s MTV Movie Awards and, as promised, a poem created by some of your reactions on Twitter to Rob tonight. Thanks, as always, for playing along with our Poetweet game! You guys are the bestest.
What the f*ck
King of the drunks
Rob Pattinson… YOU DA MAN.
What. A. Mother. F*cking. LEGEND.
Total adorkable hotness
Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila
Be drunk on TV more
KStew is so freaking embarrassed