We already let Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky ruin leotards for us, and now he’s going ahead and taking our children’s Bible stories too. Deadline reports that Darren Aronofsky’s Noah’s Ark movie will be an “edgy re-telling” of the biblical tale most of us learned via wooden puzzle or soft book. We guess if Kristen Stewart’s Snow White movie can turn one part of childhood into a creepy nightmare fantasy epic, then why not everything else?
To be fair, however, there are plenty of dark, salacious moments associated with Noah’s animal-packed craft: drowning and drunken nakedness, anyone? Let’s not even get into how completely stinky you know that ark must have been. Aronofsky reportedly wants $130 million to make the film, which will be based on his own script, and is currently approaching studios to get backing. If that man can make us cringe at the sight of a sparkly pink birthday cake and like it, he can no doubt make us enjoy a terrifying ride on a creepy boat. Think of all the snakes they must have had on-board!
