CELEBRITY MATH: Figuring Out Who ‘The Voice’ Contestants Actually Sound Like

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The Voice
is a fun show to watch, which is probably why it’s doing well in the ratings. However, in missing Simon Cowell‘s spot-on, musically-inclined criticism on American Idol, the consistent praise that Blake Shelton, Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, and Adam Levine shower upon the contestants on The Voice becomes quickly irritating. Like Steven “You Nailed It” Tyler on Idol, these judges seem to have not one ounce of constructive criticism for their contestants, as if every one is a showstopper better than the last.

Maybe we’re nuts, but the level of talent seems extremely polarized on the show, from polished, exciting performers (see: Nakia, Beverly McClellan, Javier Colon, Vicci Martinez) to “shy” weaklings (Xenia, Dia Frampton). But, at the end of the night, the most annoying thing to hear from these judges is how “unique” these performers are.  Look, it’s fine if someone sounds like someone else, but why Blake Shelton pops a B every time sad-sack Xenia mumbles through a song is bewildering. To say that Xenia — of all people — sounds nothing like any other singers is not only bombastic, but it’s weird (equally weird: Faith Hill Blake looking super-anxious to finish a song called “Honey Bee”).

In fact, the contestants all sound like someone else. And, again, there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s not pretend that Dia Frampton asking the band to clap during a cover of R.E.M. is groundbreaking.

Pink = Vicci Martinez


Brian McKnight = Javier Colon

Joe Cocker = Nakia

Faith Evans = Frenchie Davis

Dixie Chicks = Casey Weston

Melissa Etheridge = Beverly McClellan

Norah Jones + Unshakable Sadness = Xenia

Vanessa Carlton + Lunesta = Dia Frampton