It’s the Fourth of July! You know what that means, don’t you? Dozens of your closest friends and richest business associates will come over to your multi-million dollar loft apartment that sports the most killer view of the skyline of [INSERT YOUR CITY HERE] that anyone has ever dreamed of. Clearly, in addition to being rich and powerful, you’re also a wise and fair boss, which means you will have given your personal chef time off for the weekend so you can man the barbeque and grill up some Kobe beef burgers and 100% kosher Hebrew Nationals, which you’ll naturally pair with beluga and Cris for the phalanx of influencers and mavens that have come over to your lair. And when it’s time for the fireworks sponsored by [INSERT YOUR LOCAL DEPARTMENT STORE HERE] to light up the night, you’ll draw your curtains closed and fire up the latest episode of Gabe & Max Like The Internet instead. Because, naturally, that’s what true blue patriots like George Washington would have done, had the internet existed in 1776. Carpe diem, friends (which, as you’ll see in this video, roughly translates as “Seize the carp”)!