While I am not a deeply religious person, I do have to drop to my knees and thank the big guy upstairs for the gift that keeps on giving, Courtney Stodden. As a reminder for those of you on prescription painkillers (Courtneyyyyyy), Ms. Stodden is a 16-year-old… something. Singer? She’s definitely not in school. The good news is – she’s a wife!! To 51-year-old Lost actor and Doug Hutchison, sometimes referred to as “Corey Haim’s Ghost.”
While this couple claims they are in love and as normal as can be, they sure seem to be turning to a lot of media outlets to defend themselves. And for me, at least, each interview actually makes them seem more terrifying. I mean…
WHAT IS THIS PERSON?
We bring you the interview with E! News ahead, but first, here are some quotes you should keep your ears open for:
“I wish I was a virgin when we met.” This is what her husband says after discussing how Courtney “saved” herself for marriage. Um, waiting until your 16 to have sex is not saving yourself for anything. That’s like “saving” yourself for dessert, and “dessert” ends up being some 51 year old dude covered in whipped cream.
“God Was Her Only Plastic Surgeon.” God clearly went to medical school in the Caribbean.
“You’re so bad!” Kill me. Just… end it.
The video autoplays ahead. Please, won’t somebody think of the yorkie?