Crystal Harris (Sort Of) Apologizes For Hugh Hefner Sex Comments

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Look, if anyone is being interviewed about sleeping with a thousand year-old-man, they should to get the pertinent information out first: who, what, where, why and how did you not barf while you were doing it? After making some less than flattering comments about Hugh Hefner’s sex skills to Howard Stern, Hef’s ex-fiance Crystal Harris apologized…at least for making said statements out loud. “The Stern interview scared me, he’s harsh,” the former Playboy model tweeted last night. “I was unprepared and blurted out things I shouldn’t have said, I’m sorry.” Oh, do you think so, Crystal? This is like if someone slept with Golem, then complained that he was awful in the sack. No one cares about his technique, girl; they just want a detailed explanation of why you did it in the first place.

Not that Hugh has been sitting around silently massaging his gums with Polident while Crystal insults his wiener on national radio. “Yes, I think Crystal told Howard Stern what he wanted to hear. That’s her MO with most everyone,” Hef’s Twitter read last night. “I don’t blame Howard. Crystal shouldn’t have been booked on the show at this sensitive time.” Have a heart, girl. At least give the bottle of baby oil time to cool first.

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