Meet Shaq’s New Girlfriend, Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander

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Shaquille O’Neal’s new girlfriend is quite a handful!! We mean that literally, as she is about the size of one of Shaq’s hands. Her name is Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander — the “Hoopz” means she’s “kool” and likes “bazketbawl.” Nicole is actually a part of the VH1 famliy, having won her season of Flavor Of Love. While we hate to break the news that her relationship with Flava Flav on that very real really really real reality show of love did not work out, it looks Nicole is doing OK for herself. Oh, she also won her season of I Love Money, with the prize apparently being you get all of Shaq’s money.

At 5’2″ tall, Nicole is nearly TWO FEET shorter than Shaq, who stands at a Freedom Tower-esque 7’1″.

So, I know what you’re thinking… Just how do these two have sex? The answer ahead.

The Answer

VERY AWKWARDLY

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Doggystyle is especially taxing on this little lady…