Guy Fieri’s Salsas Are The Ultimate Parody Of Guy Fieri

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We’ve previously debated in this blogspace whether or not Guy Fieri is Terrible, and while I still maintain that Diners Drive-Ins and Dives remains a super-watchable show regardless of Fieri’s super-PG fake-edgy-antics, it’s very very difficult to maintain the “he is not terrible” position when you check out his line of grocery store products.

Here are the actual names of Guy Fieri’s four salsas from his salsa line:

That’s right: His salsas are called Green & Mean, Burn Baby Burn, Old Skool (his name for “regular”), and DA $PICE IS RIGHT (capitalization mine, but dollar sign for S his). That last one, if you’re wondering, is made with tomatoes, blended-up Jerry Ferrara hats, and the song “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” played downwards into the jar.

My point is, Guy Fieri’s actual salsa names are a more accurate Guy Fieri parody than anything we could’ve ever come up with. Still, let’s try to think of some more:

Bad 2 Da Bone (Garlic)

You Say Tomato, I Say SO-HOT-O!

Somebody SALS’ Me!

Gonna Show Her My Cilantr-OH Face

Go Onions, It’s Ya Birthday

Git Er Done

It’s P@r T Lime

Led Peppelin: Salsway To Heaven

SAY ELLO TO MY LITTAL BLEND!

John Belushi College Shirt: The Salsa

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Others? Leave em in the comments.