Simon Cowell Stays Healthy By Freezing His Arm And Shooting Up Vitamins

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We know that celebrities all eat flax seed and dried seaweed and breezes blowing only from the west, but eventually they, too, need to step off their whole grain high horse and eat something that isn’t measured in pellets. If Simon Cowell‘s vitamin injection story in GQ is any indication, however, he is not one of those health nuts who are in any way aware of how cray-cray they sound. As The X-Factor creator explains to the magazine, one a week he freezes his arm in ice…some of you are going to want to stop reading this right now.

We told you to stop! Cowell is then treated to a half-hour session with “an intravenous drip with B12, magnesium, vitamin C, and, he says, ‘something for your liver,’” which is the most terrifyingly vague answer imaginable. Explains Cowell, “When you have it done, it’s an incredibly warm feeling. You feel all the vitamins going through you. It’s indescribable but very calming, and then it gives you energy for a good few days afterwards.” Okay…well, we guess not every hippie-dippie-sounding treatment is all bad and oh no, we spoke too soon: “It sounds odd, but when you have it, it is fantastic,” Simon tells GQ, “One girl came down and actually had two orgasms during the treatment.” Either Cowell is straight-up out of his mind, or he is about to make 100 billion dollars on the open market. You’re right; it’s probably both.