DON’T ASK, DON’T SMELL: Marines Banned From “Audible Farting”


You know what’s awkward? Forcing yourself to hold in farts. You know what’s considerably more awkward? Being a marine in Afghanistan. (Is “awkward” the right word for that one? Ahh no time to change it).

Therefore, you know what’s the most awkward possible thing? Marines in Afghanistan being officially banned from “audible farting”:

Audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans…

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard.  Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

Man – I already had the utmost respect for our troops overseas (behold my rare unique opinion!) when they were in a situation I totally couldn’t relate to — now throw on top of that a frustrating situation that we all completely can relate to, and that’s just a whole new level of holding-it-in difficulty.

Basically, Marines in Afghanistan are now on a perpetual first date. It’s gonna get even more awkward when they need to use Afghanistan’s bathroom to “wash their hands” and there’s no toilet paper.

(Battle Rattle, via The Daily What. Also, credit for the post title goes to Michelle, who will definitely be suing me in a couple months when I make billions off the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell” novelty t-shirt)

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