Stop The Evacuation: Levi Johnston Is Not Running For Mayor

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Just in case you live in Wasilla and were planning to get yourself the hell out because of this news, call off the moving vans. Levi Johnston is not running for Mayor. It was around this time last year that we spoke of Levi’s ambitions for candidacy. Also because he was planning a “docu-soap” around it, and his people even released a statement that read, “The docu-soap will follow the ever controversial, headline making, matinee idol handsome, father of one as he embarks on a run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.”

One of the many people who thought that was the worst idea since, well, dating Levi, was babymamma Bristol Palin. She said, “It is an important position and I don’t think he knows what he is getting himself into. He has to move to the city limits and get his GED before he can actually run. If he wants to continue his education, that’s great.” We don’t know if he’s planning any of those things because his attorney, Rex Butler, has said Levi is “too busy to run” in the upcoming election. Apparently, Johnston has a book and a tour planned next month. May we just repeat that again — “too busy to run”. We don’t even have any comebacks for that one, because it’s that ludicrous.