Get ready to never be satisfied by any other restaurant ever again: according to the Boston Herald, Mark Wahlberg’s restaurant Wahlburgers is set to open soon, a joint venture the actor is opening with brother Donnie Wahlberg, among others. Wahlburgers? That’s it. Shut it down. As for as we’re concerned, every other eating establishment on the planet no longer exists (except for Red Lobster, of course, since that name is also completely dead-on).
Reportedly the brothers’ restaurant recently finished securing its amazing title after negotiating with existing burger joint Tom Wahl’s, which sold a “Wahlburger.” Please, please, please let Wahburgers be a theme restaurant where all the waiters are shirtless boxers on brink of collapse. Please let every mother who orders an entree get a free personal hi from chef Paul Wahlberg, Mark and Donnie’s older brother. We didn’t even have to make a joke about that one. Paul Wahlberg is actually going to be the Wahlburgers chef!