Kris Humphries Didn’t Realize Kim Kardashian Was Married Before

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On the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashains Kris Humphries was shocked -shocked!- to learn that his fiancee Kim Kardashian had already been been married once before. Which is weird because he could have learned this by doing a ten-second scan of his wife-to-be’s Wikipedia page. Yes, despite all the hype around Kim’s “big day”, people seem to forget that this ain’t her first trip down the aisle. In 2000 she tied the knot with record producer Damon Thomas, which ended in divorce four years later. But apparently no one told Kris about this until after the couple were already engaged. One of Kim’s relatives evidently let it slip during a Kardashian family vacation in Bora Bora.

“You were really married? You guys are serious?” gasped a visibly shaken Humphries as they sat around the fancy dinner table. The fellow Kardashian men tried to cheer him up, with some attempts more successful than others. “Kim wasn’t really married,” Rob Kardashian offered confusingly, while Scott Disick lived up to his mega-douche title by saying, “You really thought that you were going to the first?” Charming. Kris was pretty bummed out, moaning “I didn’t see that coming, that hit me like a ton of bricks. What else will Kim break to me?” But as we all know now, he got over it and the two lived happily ever after in the land of Donk.

What we wanna know is, how did this not come up before? Come on guys, communication is key to any relationship. Maybe the K-Kult were keeping the factoid hidden until they could spring it on him while the cameras were rolling. Ratings are ratings, y’all. But seriously, we thought that knowledge of Kim’s previous marriage was just kinda…out there. So we’re not sure who to be mad at in this sitch. Let this be a lesson to couples everywhere: always remember to Google your significant other before you pop the question.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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