Place Your Bets: Who Will Win Dancing With The Stars?

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Hurray! The new cast of Dancing with the Stars was announced last night, and so another pack of semi-famous celebrities are now upon us, desperate to win the nation’s affection with their rumba-ing while losing a pound or ten. While we’re disappointed Lindsay Lohan is once again absent from the list (we’re still Secreting it) we’ve got some seriously strong contenders who are sure to win us over with their dance moves, their crazy, or both. Let’s take a look see, shall we?

  • Rob Kardashian: The second ‘Dash to appear on the show, he has hopes of losing twenty pounds…and stepping out of his sisters’ shadows, perhaps?
  • Kristin Cavallari: Ah, the HBIC of Laguna Beach. She can walk in heels and yell loudly in clubs, but can she dance?
  • Elisabetta Canalis: George Clooney‘s ex-girlfriend and Italian actress/model/beacon of hotness.
  • Chaz Bono: Sonny Bono and Cher‘s son, star of  our fave OWN show Becoming Chaz and the first transgendered contestant on DWTS.
  • Nancy Grace: The Queen of Finding Missing Children moves her mouth all day long. Can her body keep up?
  • Chynna Phillips: The prettiest blond lady we had ever seen when we were 12. Wilson Phillips front-woman.
  • David Arquette: Perhaps the most well-known of all the cast for both his acting work and his separation from Courteney Cox. He’s wacky, painfully candid about his life, and we love him.
  • Ricki Lake: Talk show host, natural birth advocate. Will certainly be serenaded with “Go Ricki, go Ricki, go!” chants during the entire season.
  • Ron Artest: Basketball star currently changing his name to Metta World Peace. An obvious front-runner.
  • Carson Kressley: The guy who made straight men dress nice on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Instantly likable. Well look impeccable in high-waisted dance pants.
  • J.R. Martinez: All My Children actor and an Iraq War veteran who suffered burns on 40% of his body. When not acting he’s a motivation speaker (cue dance number to Mariah Carey‘s “Hero.”).
  • Hope Solo: Women’s national soccer team goalie. Already jacked and skilled in footwork.
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