Ryan Gosling Reveals Details Of Disney’s Homicidal Cat Army

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It takes a brave man to speak out about the powers that be, and Ryan Gosling’s Disney cat army story is no different.  “I don’t know if this is true or not and I do not want to get sued by Disney,” the stone-faced Drive actor admits to Conan around the 3:30 minute mark. “There’s a belief that Disney has been breeding an army of cats. Yes, and they’re not just ordinary cats. They have a special set of skills. They’re like Commando Cats, and they live in a barracks. A cat barracks.” According to Gosling, the cats are dispatched into the park to to manage the mouse population, though since we didn’t see a red Mickey-shaped laser light appear on Ryan’s forehead, we’re going to go ahead and take this all with a grain of salt.

Because he now knows The Truth, Gosling has a lot of mixed emotions about Disney’s wide-reaching scheme. “The thing that’s so messed-up about it, and why I hate them, is that the whole empire of Disney is built on the back of one mouse,” says Ryan. Well, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes went to Disneyland just this month, so it’ll probably take a few more bizarre Disney conspiracy stories before Eva loses interest. Like, thousands upon thousands of bizarre conspiracy stories.

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