Anderson Cooper Tries Coffee And Spinach For The First Time, Is Secretly A Child

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Here’s a video of Anderson Cooper on his new daytime talk show Anderson finally confronting three things he has never tried: Coffee, spinach, and Brussels sprouts.

Let’s back up! Apparently, Anderson Cooper — who’s traveled to Iraq and Afghanistan and anchored countless tv segments about world politics and natural disasters and global atrocities — has never tried coffee, spinach, or Brussels sprouts. On his new daytime talk show, for which he is paid nine skillion dollars, he tries coffee, spinach, and Brussels sprouts, and promptly declares that he does not like/get coffee, spinach, and Brussels sprouts. Prepare to say “Wait, really?”:

Between this segment and AC’s unbridled love of pee jokes, it seems safe to argue that Anderson Cooper is, in fact, a small child living inside an articulate silver-foxed cyborg body.

Videogum covers the many levels of ridiculousness of this clip very well, but I still can’t comprehend how Anderson Cooper — a well-off, well-traveled, super-world-aware New Yorker — basically has the same food knowledge and adventurousness of my aunts in Western Pennsylvania who still believe sushi is a whole green cartoon fish with X’s for eyes. Let’s just forget this all happened.

I was going to conclude this post with a joke about Anderson Cooper putting a “No Girls Allowed” sign on his treehouse because it’s another “kid” thing, but, well, never mind.