Someone Covered Justin Theroux’s Motorcycle With Bologna During The Night

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It sounds like a horror story: you wake up one morning, go to your garage, and you find your car completely covered with processed lunch meat. Oh the humanity! We know you’re thinking, “That’s pretty awful, but it’ll never happen to me. I live in a nice vegetarian neighborhood.” But it can happen to you! Just ask Justin Theroux, who discovered that some NYC prankster covered his prized BMW motorcycle with bologna! Oh man…couldn’t they have at least sprung for something quality, like hickory smoked ham?

The malicious meat-ing took place last night as the motorcycle was parked outside BF Jennifer Aniston’s West Village apartment. It was discovered by a neighbor early this morning, who told the New York Post that the bike was covered from seat to handlebars with at least twenty-five slices of “what clearly was bologna.” The bike was reportedly fine otherwise, and had been cleaned and ready to roll by 8 AM. But still, the culprit and motive are both still a mystery. “I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna,’ ” the neighbor admitted to the Post. No arrests have been made, but police have called Oscar Mayer in for questioning.

[Photo: Splash News Online]