Which Stanza Actually Comes From Rosie O’Donnell’s Newest Poem?

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Well, The Rosie Show started on OWN, and it’s…fine. It’s just…fine. It’s basically the same thing that The Rosie O’Donnell Show was a decade ago, except no John McD (remember John McD?). But the humor remains the same, which makes it feel a tad, er, creaky?

For example, she had Russell Brand on her inaugural show, which is a good decision since he is someone everyone knows about. But Rosie managed to make things weird when she called him — in a video package — her “new Tommy.” And it’s like, yyyyyyyeah, we’ve kind of done that already, Rosie. Ever since you came out as a loud and proud lez, shaved your head, and did everything but clobber Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View (why didn’t you do it?), we realize New Rosie is the definitely not same Rosie who was once fielding softball interviews to Dennis Franz (remember the 90′s?).

So here are in 2011, and the question is: are we supposed to buy that she is, once again, “The Queen Of Nice”? That life is just all game shows and Ho-Ho’s, showtunes and pantsuits? It’s a valid question. But a more fun question is: Which of the following stanzas don’t come from Rosie’s first new blog post on Rosie.com?

A)

watching conan
who always makes me laugh
poker on ESPN next
i pray for a dance mom marathon

B)

eggs r hatching
everywhere
vulnerable exciting
alive

C)

tonight at GIBSONS steak house
i met a man named mo
who waits tables with such style and grace
survived a heart attack last year

Answer after the jump (AND VIDEO FROM THE PREMIERE):

Answer: TRICK QUESTION! THEY’RE ALL REAL AND ROSIE-APPROVED!

Also, if you’re hungry for seeing Rosie O’Donnell parade around with shirtless Broadway boys while singing out of tune, you’re welcome:

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