On the left, Zombie Bride Lindsay Lohan from Mean Girls. On the right, present day Zombie Lindsay Lohan from a red carpet event at The Supper Club in LA.
Before I even delve into this story, I want to say that I hesitated posting these photos of Lohan because I didn’t want to “Patrick Swayze” her into the ground. But I have to be real witchall…. if we’re basing the future on these photos, Lohan is on the brink of something not completely appetizing.
Forget the fact that her teeth starring in a Karate Kid montage for “You’re The Meth Around”:
But her hands… her hands…
What happened to Lilo’s hands?? They’re bruised and cut and generally f**ked up. I mean, fine, she’s maybe doing some illegal substances. But did she have to Kill Bill her way out of a coffin to make it to the event? Jesus.
And those fingernails….. somewhere, Eli Roth is masturbating.
Now everyone — EVERYONE — who read this post, spit three times that she doesn’t drop within the next 24 hours so I don’t feel this guilt hunchback weighing down upon me.