How To Carve A Pumpkin

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Slacktory editor Nick Douglas wants you to know how to carve a pumpkin, since it is pumpkin season, after all.

Things you’ll need: pumpkin, knife, and patience. And maybe some stencils, a candle, and MIND-NUMBING BOOZE a WHOLE BUNCHA LOVE.

And for good measure, go ahead and blow a cool G at Talbots for a top-of-the-line Missy-sized autumnal sweater, but make sure it’s the one with the barrels-of-hay-shaped buttons and ghost pins. Otherwise, you’ll be wasting a lot of money that you could have spent on MIND-NUMBING BOOZE candy!

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