The 50 Most Unintentionally Terrifying Halloween Costumes

|

When selecting a Halloween costume, there’s as many different approaches as there are non-friends’ Halloween parties you annually weasel your way out of attending: Do you go with something sexy? Something scary? Something just cool or funny or dumb or nostalgia-ey? It’s pretty much up to you.

However, there’s one category of ready-made costumes that should never, EVER be worn: Costumes that are trying to be funny, sexy, or referential, but when you actually see them, they’re creepy as f**k. To help weed out this phenomenon, we’ve collected 50 examples from actual, current costume websites — from monstrously inaccurate characters to joke-costumes bordering on the rapey, here are this year’s 50 Most Unintentionally Terrifying Costumes:

50. Shrek Donkey

Remember that scene in Shrek The Third when Buffalo Bill murders Donkey and wears his face?

49. Orangutan

Orangutans look like this (and are friends with dogs). They do not look like this:


48. Mr. Burns

Um…excellent?

47. ‘Rock And Roller’ Elvis

Those of us who never saw Elvis in his prime can’t truly appreciate what he did for midget gremlin-monsters with ghost ravens perched on their heads.

46. Cartman

Actually a leftover “Railroad Chinaman” costume from a racist 20s vaudeville show.

45. Sperm Tunic

Someone apparently came a ghost?

44. “Sh*t Hits The Fan”

You know that expression people never say? Now you can remind people of it with six sh*t pieces on you!

43. Taz

Yep, that’s Taz. Perfect!

42. YouBoob

Meh. Any kitten ones?

41. Fozzie Bear

Ahhhh, he’s expanding! Kill it! Kill it with tomatoes!

40. Trix Rabbit

Silly man-sized rabbit! We’ve all seen what happened to Donnie Darko!

39. Tom The Turkey

Actually a rebranded “Vulture From That Iconic Photo Of The Starving Child” costume.

38. The Situation

Either the wearer of this costume unironically aspires to be The Situation, or he unironically isn’t aware of which joke costumes ran their course three years ago.

37. “Tequila Man”

Definitely spend most of your night talking to this man.

36. Stay Puft

An early prototype for the Scream murderer.

35. Spam Can

Even the dude modeling this costume is like “I know – f*cking why?”

34. Sock Monkey

The worst part? You literally have to make this pose the entire night:

33. Rubber Ducky Man

Kid-man riding a ducky? This happens never and probably shouldn’t?

32. Rodeo Clown

Always-Creepy Clowns + Anal Innuendo = Halloween Party Hit!

31. Rango

Really captures the deathly, uncharismatic Johnny Depp monster from the super-dark film.

30. Rabbit In A Hat

“See, I’m supposed to be a rabbit in a whoops just knocked over every drink in the world. Halloween’s over!”

29. Rabbi

Orrrrr one of the goons from Goldeneye?

28. Pilgrim

History rarely mentions the early-American colonies founded by the Gorgs from Fraggle Rock.

27. Trojan

I call ‘not it’ on confiscating the bladed object from that f***ing thing.

26. Bart Simpson Mask

Can’t sleep…Bart’ll eat me…Can’t sleep…Bart’ll eat me…

25. Mickey Mouse

Cartoon Mickey never did look male-escorty enough.

24. M & M

Nothing wrong with M&Ms, just never seen one so obviously on E.

23. Aladdin Genie

The hell are you smilin’ at?

22. Grinch Santa

You wouldn’t like Santa when he’s angry.

21. Mini Stripper

Man, sad to see how far the dude from Nickelodeon’s Weinerville has fallen.

20. Frosty The Snowman

Sorry, after the Jack Frost rape scene this one’s a “pass” for life.

19. “Ultimate Boobs Costume”

The title of this costume is self explanatory. So ultimate!

18. Angry Birds

Animated = Cute! Giant And Live = “Think my friend went over there…”

17. “Going Ape”

After Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, I trust none of you anymore. Especially if you’re a human on the inside because it turns out they are the most evil of all (spoiler)!

16. Double Occupancy

Just FYI, this costume costs $85. Spooky.

15. “Ooh La Lola”

The costume title is the inverse of anyone’s reaction upon seeing this.

14. Carrot Top Wig

The only costume to make this list and our “Celeb Costumes We Can’t Believe Exist” list. Going for the awful-costumes EGOT!

13. Big Foot

Even those 45-year-old foot fetish dudes from like Real Sex 73 want nothing to do with this.

12. Tassle Twirler

Doesn’t help the creepiness factor that it looks like the nipples are bleeding neon blood into the crotch.

11. Mushroom

Um, sure. “Mushroom.”

10. Big Top Clown

I guess they couldn’t legally use John Wayne Gacy’s name?

9. Abe Lincoln Mask

This thing belongs in an NES game coming alive and firing lasers at you at the end of a shooter level.

8. Drill

Nice drill penis! Are you the dude who f***ked the hooker in Seven?

7. “Mummy’s Boy”

You could just wear a giant neon “NO ISSUES” sign and pocket the difference?

6. Operation Board

Water in the knJEEEEESUS CHRIST!

5. Tuxedo Kermit

“DIE-ho, I am Kermit Theee Frog!” – This Thing Right Before It Stabs You

4. Inflatable Doll

AHHHH!!! Oh my bad, you’re not actually naked, you’re just AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

3. Plus-Size “Anna Rexia”

Yes, really.

2. Mammogram Man

SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS LOL ALSO YOU MIGHT HAVE CANCER!

1. Six Flags Man

One flag for everyone this costume has literally murdered as we were typing this.

(Costume pics via halloweenmart.com, rickyshalloween.com, zoogstercostumes.com, spirithalloween.com, mypartyplanner.com, Ebay, and brandsonsale.com)