This is what runs through my mind when I go to read articles about Magic Mike, the stripper movie starring every hot actor you’d ever want to see naked: “Words, words, oooh, preeettty.” Which, my mind has a point there. But also, maybe we shouldn’t objectify these guys. They’re actors, not actual strippers, after all. They don’t exist solely for our viewing pleasure. So, as a service to all the other ladies out there who’ve been too distracted by Joe Manganiello’s abs to notice that there were words in those stories, here’s a roundup of quotes from interviews with the cast of what will surely be Steven Soderbergh’s most important masterpiece since Traffic.
“It’s gonna blow minds.” — Joe to VH1 at the Scream Awards.
“[Everyone is] pretty damn naked, and probably more naked than in True Blood even, if you can believe it. There are some dicey, dicey scenes in there. A lot of girls get naked too.” — Joe to MTV’s Hollywood Crush
“Y’all are incredibly cheap when it comes to giving money for sex!” — Channing on his memories of female patrons from his days as a real-life stripper
“The first time I tried, I had never worn a thong before, so the first time I tried it I put it on wrong and my junk didn’t fit in it. I had to call a wardrobe person in, ‘Something is wrong with my thong, you guys. I think we are gonna have to figure this out,’ and they’re like, ‘Yeah your legs are in the wrong holes.’ ” — Matthew Bomer to Hollywood Crush
“It’s a fictionalized version of what Channing went through. Channing’s sort of playing a version of himself and Alex is kind of playing a version of Channing. They’re sort of amalgamations of other people. No one has ever said, ‘But that didn’t happen’ because it’s not really that. It’s just the world that I think is really fascinating.” — Steven Soderbergh explaining Channing Tatum‘s and Alex Pettyfer‘s roles to Hollywood Crush
“No, no full frontal! But his name is Big Dick Richie for a reason.” — Joe to Celebuzz
“Everybody kinda does their own thing,” he said. “Big sexy Kevin Nash has his Tarzan thing, I’ve got my fireman thing, Matt Bomer’s got a doctor thing going on, Adam Rodriguez does a Latino lover bit.” — Joe to the LA Times
“There’s one scene that’s going to stick out. It’s really going to stick out.” — Joe to E! Online
See, guys? This movie has plot!
[Photo: Splash News Online]