Today is 11/11/11 you guys!!! And this is the internet! You know what that means: Time to MAKE A WISH for countless 11/11/11 themed list posts that don’t really make any sense but it’s the internet so NOT doing one actually makes less sense. Make sense? You better ELEVEN believe it!
Because we at BWE are absolutely no better than the rest of the internet, and are in fact quite a bit worse than a significant portion of it (like all the news parts), here is our contribution to the obligatory 11/11/11 list fray, ranking the 11 Best Elevens That Ever Elevened. Crack open some un-elevened bread and get ready to read the word ‘eleven’ a bunch more times:
11. The Eleventh Hour
How great was this book? So great that I never found a single hidden clue or figured out any part of any mystery, and I STILL loved it because there’s awesomely-drawn animals and cool rhymes. A true ambassador of elevenship.
10. Sesame Street “Eleven” Rap
“My name is Eleven and I’m here to say, I’m the Elevenest number in the U-S-A!” (not an actual line, but it should be). This rapping kid actually rules! He’s a veritable Light D.
9. James K. Polk, The 11th President
Not only did James Polk win the 1844 election as a darkhorse candidate, but he also passed The Walker Tariff!!! And we all know what that was! We remember it every Polk Day (The Polkth day in March).
8. 11 Madison Park
Just a solid restaurant in New York City. Can’t think of a joke for this paragraph. Horse walks into the bar at 11 Madison Park, bartender says “Why the long face here at 11 Madison Park?” DONE.
7. Ocean’s Eleven
A harmless and entertaining heistful romp. It’s not better than the first two things on the list, but everyone who makes lists online puts the coolest things at the very beginning and very end cause no one reads these middle ones. Viva Gaddafi! See?
6. Mark Messier
Messier is probably sports’ all-time most accomplished #11, with all due respect to Phil Simms, Isiah Thomas, Luis Aparicio, Larry Fitzgerald, Sparky Anderson, and of course, Daunte Culpepper.
5. Hilford Hanson, The Eleventy-Twelfth President
He’s only a small character in the Mr. Show John Baptiste Philouza sketch, but that sketch is great and “Eleventy-Twelfth” is an excellent phrase so our formula ranks him 5th.
4. 11 O’Clock
Not too early, not too late, am or pm. Just a solid time.
What a useful place sometimes! Plus multiple 7-11s around the country rebranded themselves as real-life Kwik-e-Marts to promote the Simpsons movie. No we’re not running out of things and padding the list to get to eleven, why?
2. Spinal Tap’s Amps
1. Sodium (Atomic Number 11)
We literally couldn’t live without sodium, so it’s a pretty clear-cut #1 on this list. And what is #1 but merely #11 standing partially behind something?
Happy 11/11/11 everyone! Hope you’ve taken 11 minutes (or seconds or hours) out of your day to enjoy this informative post.