Sylvester Stallone is turning Rocky into a musical, co-produced by heavyweight champion boxers Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko. Because nothing musical theater does can possibly shock or disappoint us anymore, rather than make fun of this ridiculous announcement, we’re just gonna sit back and embrace it.
Putting our combined knowledge of Rocky and predictable pop-inspired musicals together, let’s predict 10 Songs From The Upcoming And Necessary Rocky Musical:
1. “Overture / Gonna Fly Now” (Rocky and Company)
2. “The Thrill Of The Punch!” (Rocky and Spider Riko)
3. “Drinkin’ Some Eggs, Punchin’ Some Meat” (Mickey and Rocky)
4. “Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Glasses” (Rocky, Adrian and Turtles)
5. “I’m Evil But Turn Wacky After A Couple Movies” (Paulie)
6. “Ain’t No Bum, Mick (The Bum Song)” (Rocky, Mickey, and Bums)
7. “You Can’t Catch Me!” (Chicken and Chicken Chorus)
8. “We’re Boxing Each Other Now” (Rocky and Apollo)
9. “(AAADRIAN is) All I Want (Adrian’s Theme)” (Rocky and Adrian)
10. “Let’s Fly Now Together / Gonna Fly Now (Reprise) / Eye Of The Tiger / Don’t Stop Believin” (Company)
Other Rocky song predictions? Leave them in the comments.