Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s divorce was only made public two weeks ago, but if rumors are true (and we love it when they are), Demi is allegedly stepping out with another gentleman caller just days after the ink on her legal documents have dried. The man is question is reportedly Demi’s long-time friend Scott-Vincent Borba. “Demi and Scott-Vincent started dating last week”, a source reported to RadarOnline. “They have known each other for a long time and he’s really been there for her by her side through the whole Ashton thing … he’s head over heel for Demi and there’s definitely potential for a lasting relationship between them.” We obviously want Demi to find solace in whichever pair of arms the girl sees fit, but how does Scott-Vincent compare to Demi’s soon-to-be ex? Let’s break it down:
Category: Career
Ashton: Starring on Two And A Half Men, as well as the upcoming New Year’s Eve.
Scott-Vincent: Founder and CEO of BORBA skin care, endorsed by lovely smooth-skinned ladies such as Mila Kunis, Stacy Keibler, and Ashley Greene.
Winner: Seems like a tie!
Name
Ashton: Kind of silly, when you think about it. Ashton? Kutcher? Sounds like your grandma’s favorite brand of shortbread cookie.
Scott-Vincent: Two standard names linked with a dash become one larger, sillier name. It’s just math!
Winner: A tie again!
Overall Appearance
Ashton: Pretty standard issue, right?
Scott-Vincent: Look…we don’t live in L.A. nor do we work on people’s skin for a living, so we really can’t judge a person whose flesh looks like the dewy petals of a morning rose. That being said, Scott-Vincent could easily get a job working at Madame Tassauds. As a mannequin.
Winner: Ashton
Possibility That They Are A Robot Wearing A Human Face
Ashton: Seems unlikely. How many robots have a neck beard?
Scott-Vincent: Gives you that vibe, right? It’s not just us?
Winner: Depends on whether Demi is into that kind of thing.
Relationship Qualifications
Ashton: Allegedly cheated on Demi with sidepiece Sara Leal.
Scott-Vincent: So far, so faithful!
Winner: Scott-Vincent! Since this last category counts for a million points, we declare Mr. Borba the winner! Congratulations, you too! Allegedly!
