Planes: the famous person’s natural enemy. What is about cruising at 30,000 feet that makes celebrities want to get rip-roaring drunk, start a screaming match and/or pee on the floor? Is it the change in air pressure? The overwhelming number of options in SkyMall? Or, are celebs always doing crazy stuff and a plane is just the one place where their P.R. team can’t hustle them away when things go south? Big & Rich’s John Rich was yanked from a Southwest flight yesterday after the singer started a drunken argument with fellow passengers before boarding, and remained too visibly inebriated to fly once on the plane. “Our crew assessed the situation and determined that the passenger was not fit for travel under governing federal aviation regulations,” Southwest’s rep says in a statement. Did we mention the flight was at 10:50 a.m.? Just to remind John that he’s in good company, here are seven of our favorite celebrities vs. plane stories, in order of increasing insanity:
7) Brooke Mueller: News that Charlie Sheen’s former spouse got removed (or removed herself) from a flight from L.A. to Cancun this past summer, after flight attendants refused to let her use the bathroom during takeoff, is sadly one of the more normal things we’ve heard that Brooke has done this year.
6) Ivana Trump: The Donald’s ex-wife was prevented from flying the friendly skies in 2009 after getting into a fight with fellow passengers that escalated to the point that Ivana began swearing at children and the flight crew. Looks like Ivana is destined to become a hermit, because you know that woman wouldn’t deign to ride the bus. Or be allowed to.
5) Billy Joe Armstrong: The Green Day frontman claims he was escorted from a Southwest flight due to the extreme sagginess of his pants. Maybe his pants were so saggy they were hanging out the cargo hold and their billowing created too much drag for the plane to take-off? We’re just spitballing here, but that’s the only way that story makes any sense.
4) Kevin Smith: The Mallrats director was anything but silent after getting yanked off a Southwest flight due to his size. Smith later went after the airline in a well-deserved Twitter rage-splosion. Because really, do you really want to mess with a man who knows our Lord God Alanis Morissette? On a different note, Dogma was a documentary, right?
3) LMFAO: In what is probably the most bizarre plane-related use of the Vulcan death grip, party boys LMFAO claim member Sky Blu got removed from an Air Canada flight after a run-in with none other than Republican would-be candidate Mitt Romney. Why aren’t Romney’s opponents using this against him in the debates? Oh, right, because they didn’t have to.
2) Jonathan Rhys Meyers: Impressively, the Bend It Like Beckham actor managed to get kicked off a plane without even making it on the plane. Last March, Meyers, who has been in and out of rehab for substance abuse, allegedly assaulted a United Airlines employee after, you guessed it, shouting the n-word in a crowded airport. Did we mention The Tudors actor punched a different airport employee in 2009?
1) Gerard Depardieu: In our number one story (literally) (in every sense of the word) (including the one that means urine), the esteemed French actor made his mark … on the carpet of his international City Jet flight from Paris to Dublin. Depardieu later claimed he had a medical problem and was prevented from visiting the restroom. If it’s true, we wish Gerard would have filled up the entire cabin with pee. That would teach them! Plus it would give us something even better to write about.
[Photo: Getty Images]