If a stranger were to stumble upon my DVR box, they would notice some typical recordings: The Real Housewives Of Wherever, X Factor, 30 Rock, all the VH1 shows of course (hi boss!), Judge Judy… but one particular show might stand out among the rest for placing me somewhere between “assisted living home” and “check her breathing, she’s not moving.”
Yes, America, I DVR Wheel Of Fortune.
While I don’t feel the need to plaster this post with excuses as to why I do this, here are just a few. It’s relaxing. It has pleasant sound effects. It fulfills my childhood dream of one day winning lots of money. I love Pat Sajak. (Yes, that way.) And many times, it can be hilarious. This, of course, is in relation to how stupid the contestant is playing.
So what better way to combine the two things I love most – Whee Of Fortune and idiots – into one handy post? Here are the The 20 Worst Wheel of Fortune Players Ever, ranked in loose order of their stupidity.
20. It’s Really Exclusive
19. What Secrets Is Your Tea Keeping?
18 through #1 continues ahead…
18. Glove Trekker
17. The Molar Express
16. The Man Is Cursed
14. Life’s A Bitches
13. Wanna Hang With This Dude
12. Someone Call The Tossed Salad Man
11. Good Ol’ Table Tuesdays
10. You Can Also Set Them Of
9. Somehow Dirty Sexually
8. Everything Is Sh*tshow
7. Pirstie Alley
6. She Still Has Nightmares About This.
5. Fact: This Sucks
4. Definitely High.
3. Maaaaarayyyy (For 227 Fans Only).
2. The Second Worst Group Of Players Ever
1. The WORST Group Of Players Ever
And never forget the two best players in history… Raymond Taylor:
And of course, Nell Carter:
I’ll take an R-I-P, Pat.