Battleship Trailer Stars Rihanna, Other People Who Aren’t Rihanna

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Who ever made the second and most recent Battleship trailer was smart enough to know why most of the human race will be seeing it*: a fantastic lady by the name of Rihanna. Not that the huge action movie doesn’t look good in it’s own right; it’s also got Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson and some kind of centuries-old hidden alien army lying in wait on the ocean floor**. Most importantly, though, it has Rihanna’s acting debut***. It seems pretty solid! When RiRi yells, “What the hell is that?” you really feel like she wanted to know what the hell that was. As much as we love extraterrestrial fireballs with chainsaw tails ripping apart helicopters and smashing buildings, let us take a moment to pay homage to the best part of this and any movie: the precious seconds Rihanna is on screen.

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*Editor’s note: There are some of us who have had this movie’s opening marked in our calendars as “dinner with Taylor Kitsch AND Alexander Skarsgard” since last year.
**And also Eric Northman getting his face warped and Tim Riggins getting all militaried up.
*** “More importantly,” we’d like to mention, is only according to Halle Kiefer. Her editor would like to argue that nothing is more important than Taylor looking very, very worried.