Katy Perry And Russell Brand: We Have Planned Your Rebounds For You

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We don’t like spreading vicious rumors here at TheFABlife. We don’t even enjoy reporting on good ones, if they don’t seem very true. But what we do like is imagining hypothetical maybe stories that would be very nice if they were true. Or something like that. Anyway, that’s what we’re doing as we figure out how to put a happy spin on the Russell Brand/Katy Perry split.

First, as background, the sad rumors: The U.K. Sunday Mirror reported that “insiders” said that the couple’s marriage has been on the rocks for a while and they’d even been in counseling because Brand, 36, wanted to leave his partying days behind him to settle down and start a family. But Perry, 27, didn’t want to be a housewife, the paper said. Also, they had mutually agreed to the divorce, but according to TMZ, Katy wanted Russell to file because her evangelical parents don’t believe in divorce (we’re pretty sure this technicality doesn’t get you off the hook, KP). One more sad thing, Russell was seen by himself at the Savoy hotel in London, and when someone at the gym told him happy New Year, he said, “Here’s hoping it gets happier.”

Oof. Now for happier rumors: Katy was able to have an upbeat New Year’s Eve, as people told the New York Post that she was partying it up in a private room at SoHo House in West Hollywood “One wouldn’t have ever even known that her husband had just filed for divorce,” a source told the paper.

Also, Katy’s pal Rihanna is supposedly planning a girls’ weekend getaway to get her mind off of things. Meanwhile, according to the Daily Mail, Russell was spotted (and photographed) leaving the Savoy with Florence Welch and another woman.

This is where our imaginations have ENTIRELY made up a great rebound scenario for both stars: Katy and Rihanna jet-ski off into the sunset, realizing that “I Kissed a Girl” wasn’t just a phase but a perfectly great way to be done with pesky men and their babymaking demands. And Russell, who must have been confused by how much he enjoyed Katy’s Florence Welch impression on SNL a few weeks ago, finds comfort in the redheaded singer, who seems equal parts sweet and weird and interesting and fun. Now, doesn’t that sound like a great happily ever after? More celebrities should have us plan their love lives for them.

[Photos: Getty Images, Splash News Online]

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