Does any young woman scream “forlorn street urchin” louder than one Ms. Taylor Swift? We didn’t think so. To the disappointment of all you Lea Michele and Evan Rachel Wood fans out there, rumor has it that Taylor Swift has been offered the role of Eponine in the upcoming Les Miserables movie. Instead of mourning her unrequited love of John Mayer, she’ll be mourning her unrequited love of the as-yet-uncast Marius. Plus she gets to be in drag! And go to war! Ugh, so deliciously full of despair.
Amanda Seyfried has also allegedly been offered the role of heartbreaking foundling Cosette, making Swift her direct romantic rival. And you know how well Taylor does with a rival! We’re calling it now: they will add a new Taylor Swift song to the soundtrack, which will be nominated for Best Original Song at the Oscars in 2013, and we will listen to it and pretend we aren’t crying into our scarf on the subway.
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