For some people, an awards show is all about who wins and who’s snubbed. For those people, we have this list. For others, however, it’s about all of those other moments in-between — the awkward speeches, the hilarious skits, the cutaways to the tipsy A-listers sitting at tables full of empties. Here’s a list of our favorites from the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards (in chronological order):
» Octavia Spencer began her Best Supporting Actress speech with a flustered, “Well I’m not prepared, I wasn’t a Girl Scout.” But then she pulled it together and quite elegantly thanked a whole lot of people.
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» Christopher Plummer in his pink shirt, said he was “completely turned on” by his Supporting Actor win. “At my age, I need all the help I can get in that department.”
» When Elizabeth Olsen and Maya Rudolph started their joke that Meryl Streep should be nominated for president, the camera cut away to Meryl who had that confused look of someone who’d spaced out and had no idea why she heard her name.
» Judd Apatow was maybe the source of many of those empty glasses at the tables: He started his speech by telling people to follow him on Twitter, and ended it by saying, “F— you, Jerry Lewis.” (That was for Lewis supposedly saying that women weren’t funny.)
» Hosts Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel introduced their understudies: Two little boys who looked about 5 years old and proceeded to joke about how awards season is “the best time of year to see the top of actresses’ boobs.”
» And speaking of precocious kids, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close star Thomas Horn acted exactly his age when his eyes almost popped out of his head as he heard his name called for Best Young Actor. But then he got onstage and thanked his dialogue director, so he was back to being a child actor again.
» Yeah, I come close to tears at most awards shows “In Memoriam” montages, so it was good to laugh at Jake Gyllenhaal’s multiple deaths in Source Code and the demise of This Girl, Some Gorilla, Jet Ski Guy and Lots of Ninjas during this show.
» Jason Segel may have actually taught us how to say name of The Artist writer/director Michel Hazanavicius. Oh, wait, I forgot it again.
» The presenters seemed to have a good view of the ladies at The Help table, because people kept referring to what a good time they were having. We want outtakes!
» Dustin Hoffman’s awesome presenting speech for Best Picture: “It’s late; here are the nominees.”
» And Michel Hazanavisius ended the night on another cute note: “I made a silent movie, I don’t like to speak so much.”