From this photograph, it seems that something serious is about to go down between Madonna and Jessica Biel on the Golden Globes red carpet. Random blonde lady in black in the middle seems to be the referee. Biel and Madge seem poised in classic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fighting poses. What’s the beef about? Does Madonna want more than Four Minutes with Justin Timberlake? Does Jessica have a problem with the fact that Madonna in Reema Acra may just look (way) hotter than her? Has the quantity of granny lace on Jess’ Elie Saab dress made Madge see red? Answers below, people.
Sadly, no fighting went down. Madonna happened to step on Jessica’s dress. Totally not her fault because, look at it — there’s yards of it! What you see is the fapping and apologia that is warranted when dresses and shoes and stamping on are involved. Even Madonna isn’t exempt from those etiquette rules. We like our versions of the story better.
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[Photos: Splash News Online/ Getty Images]