Color us shocked that none of the ladies of Jersey Shore have ever posed for Playboy. Sure, JWoww did an issue of Maxim, but even then she still managed to keep her one-piece on. If any of the roommates is going to show off her meatballs, however, it’s not Sammi. “My boobs are real, they will sag to the floor,” she told HDNet, shooting down recent Playboy rumors. “I just feel weird about my boobs. … But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the right direction you want to go in.” Girl, no. You’ve just been around JWoww’s epic beach ball-sized implants for too long. Monster truck tires would feel saggy next to such magnificence.
Not that Sammi doesn’t keep abreast (see what we did there?) of which celebs are posing in their birthday suit. “She looked fabulous. She looked amazing,” she gushed about Lindsay Lohan Playboy shoot, before admitting, “You never know what tomorrow will bring.” Girl, again, no. If even Snooki isn’t doing it, neither should you. So…Deena will be first then, right?