Whether they’re peeing in front of a camera, talking about their bat nipples or discussing people slicing off their toes, celebrities truly are just like us. And by us, we mean giant weirdos. When Newsweek assembled George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Viola Davis, Charlize Theron, Christopher Plummer and Michael Fassbender for their Oscar roundtable, plenty of creepy stories and awkward moments started to emerge. “I did actually pee on-camera, ” Fassbender admits about his starring role in Shame, explaining that he got it done in three takes. “Hard to stop, isn’t it?” Clooney blurts gleefully. Other delightfully off-putting moments that cropped up during the stars’ discussion included:
- Clooney’s depressing shoe salesman years. “There was a whole generation of women who had a toe cut off to fit in tight pumps,” he…jokes?
- Charlize Theron commanding that Viola Davis recognize, “You’re hot as sh–!”
- Clooney’s defense of the Batman sequels, which gets derailed by Tilda Swinton’s memory of his prominent rubber batsuit nipples. “Had I known they were going to put nipples on the thing, I would have rethought it,” George sighs.
- Christopher Plummer’s very real beef with Tree of Life director Terrence Malick, saying of his experience making Malick’s film The New World, “I gave him sh–. I’ll never work with him again.”
- Charlize’s amazing impression of Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids.
So … can we give all of them an Oscar for all this riffing? Or just to Tilda Swinton for uttering the phrase, “There are laws about erections now, aren’t there?” We don’t need all those short film Oscars. Just swap one of them out and no one will be the wiser.
[Photo: Getty Images]