Vanessa Paradis: Throw Johnny Depp Break-Up Rumors In “The Toilet”

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We knew it couldn’t be true! If by “knew,” we meant “silently wept while praying.” Either way, we are pleased as punch that Johnny Depp‘s lady friend Vanessa Paradis stopped by France’s Grand Journal to shut down rumors about the couple’s eminent break-up. “Yes it’s false – of course it’s false!,” the French actress exclaimed on the show. “People say we are buying houses in the middle of nowhere, or that we have fifty two houses in France, All [of those rumors are] not too serious, but this latest one is a rumor which could cause a lot of harm to my family and my children.” We knew those house rumors weren’t true, either. What family has more than 10 houses per person? You’d have to invent a time machine just to live in them all! And we’re betting those time machine rumors aren’t true either!

Early this month tabloids claimed Paradis and Depp were already in the process of dissolving their relationship; the parents of two have been together since 1998. “These magazines end up in the fireplace or the toilet,” concluded Vanessa. The toilet! We would live in the toilet if it meant these two would keep quietly proving love exists. We would literally design, construct and raise a family in the bowl of a giant toilet. Don’t tempt us; we have very little else going on right now. And everything we own is already water-proof.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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