Try Reading This Sentence About The Stretch Armstrong Movie And Ever Looking Hollywood In The Eye Again


We’ve all ripped on Hollywood in the past and present and earlier today for running out of ideas and strip-mining every remotely recognizable thing that’s ever existed in the hopes of squeezing out something resembling a movie (see: Battleship The Board Game: The Movie), but this chunk of news (via /Film) about the conceived Stretch Armstrong movie – a film literally based on a rubbery toy man that no kid even liked – will cause even the most jaded eyes to roll:

Yet another Hasbro-based movie has bitten the dust at Universal. But this one, unlike Clue, Ouija, Monopoly and Magic The Gathering, immediately found a new home. Stretch Armstrong, which was originally set up to star Twilight-phenom Taylor Lautner and be directed by Rob Letterman (Gulliver’s Travels), has been dropped by Universal and picked up by their most-of-the-time partner in crime, Relativity Media.

Not only was a Stretch Armstrong movie in the works (starring Taylor Lautner of course, just to make it seem even more like an SNL Digital Short), but also, when one studio ended up scrapping the idea, another studio RUSHED TO PICK IT UP. “Dude, you’d be an IDIOT to let that movie about the stretchy rubbery toy man from 18-year-old commercials during Wild & Crazy Kids go to waste – at LEAST let us take a crack at it! That reminds me, can we also take a crack at that Wild & Crazy Kids movie? Omar Gooding is already attached.”

Also, the most ridiculous part of this sentence is the fact that it is more ridiculous than the previous sentence which mentions a movie based on a Ouija Board. I know we say this almost daily RE: Hollywood news, but what is anything anymore? At least our old pal Screenwriting Grad Student In The Inside The Actor’s Studio Audience is taking the news well.

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