Hey, dollar-sign fans! Ke$ha’s birthday is coming up on March 1, and we’ve been so worried that we would never be able to throw the appropriate party to celebrate. Thank goodness Glamour came to our rescue with a very enlightening interview. The magazine thought it would tempt us with the promise of “makeunder” photos of the singer, but fancy photo shoots are nothing compare to the gem buried deep in the story, but uncovered by all sorts of blogs today: “Sometimes when I’m sad, I make my assistant put on the penis outfit and bounce around my house.”
We’ll let others worry about whether this assistant is eligible for worker’s comp and in need of intense counseling at the moment. What we’d rather do is focus on how this article has inadvertently taught us how to throw the best Ke$ha party ever. You’ll need:
One (1) Halloweenie costume, available for $59.99 plus shipping and handling at Buy.com. (Side note: We’re more worried about the health of the model who posed for this costume photo. Was this his big break?)
Two (2) or more deluxe body paint kits. We recommend both the traditional and the glow-in-the-dark paints, so your guests can feel free to express themselves however they like, just like Ke$ha’s guests. (We can hardly wait for her own promised line of body paint!) “Sometimes I have parties at my house in Nashville and it’s clothing-optional, and we just body-paint each other and run around, and I have a giant bed. I’m very much in touch with that side of myself,” she told Glamour, adding that some guests choose to wear bathing suits if they don’t want to strip completely. What an understanding host!
One (1) pack of 40 30-gallon garbage bags, so your more modest guests will have the option of creating their own Ke$ha worthy dresses.
One (1) John Varvatos American Flag T-shirt, available at Zappos for just $98! This is just for you, the host, to wear when the weather is too chilly for body-paint-only attire. Ke$ha wears her own tattered version “all the time. It represents my freedom to speak about exactly what I want to, whenever I want to,” she told the mag.
At least five (5) of your dad’s old rock records. Ke$ha has promised that the upcoming album she’s working on has some ’70s rock influence, so you can start getting the mood right now!
One (1) can Bumble and Bumble hair powder, which Ke$ha calls “God’s gift. You don’t have to shower. You just put it in and instantly look like the eighties.”
Two (2) bottles of Jack Daniels. One for drinking, the other for post-party tooth-brushing, Ke$ha style.
Now, how can we get Ke$ha herself to come?
[Photos: Getty Images, Buy.com, BN.com, Soap.com, Zappos.com, Atlantic, BumbleandBumble.com, Jack Daniels]