Adele Is One Beautiful “Bitter Witch” On The Cover Of Vogue

|

Adele’s Vogue cover is so dreamy, what with her amazing cleavage and gigantic eyelashes, that we’re going to ignore the obvious Photoshop nip tuck they gave her torso. Seriously, who do they think they’re fooling? We know what Adele’s arms look like: ours. We’re also going to ignore the singer’s promise never to write a break-up song again, but only because the idea fills us with despair. “No one’s got to be brave. It’s not like, ‘You f— me over and I’m going to write a record and make you the most hated man in the world,’” the singer jokes in her interview regarding potential gentlemen callers. “I am never writing a breakup record again, by the way. I’m done with being a bitter witch.” Noooo! Don’t make us put on “Someone Like You” and cry about how there will never be another “Someone Like You.” It’s just too meta!

Her interview also indicates that Adele’s throat surgery was a blessing in disguise, and not just for the singer’s physical well-being. “I think if I hadn’t had my voice trouble, I would never have broached those subjects with myself,” the Grammy Award-winner tells Vogue. “Now I just feel really at peace…In fact, my entire life has changed in the last ten says. I’ve never been so happy, and I love it.” Okay, but no one let Taylor Swift know about the perks of throat surgery! Some of our favorite performers need to stay bummed out so we can get our cry on!

[Photo: Getty Images/Vogue]